he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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