He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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