Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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