so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
