R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
