It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
