So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
