did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
