I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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