Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
