You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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