Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
