I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is Oprah even human
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
