She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
