my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
