Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
