The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
