i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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