He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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