Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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