We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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