she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
