I accidentally had phone sex last night
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
