just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What a dumb baby whore.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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