your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
