he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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