saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
