I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
