I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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