Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
