Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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