If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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