Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
