All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
