4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize