Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
