she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
