fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
