Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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