Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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