My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
