I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
