Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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