My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize