I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
