Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
