Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize