So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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