Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
