just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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