And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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