i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
