I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
