Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
