He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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