Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
