I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
