ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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