I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
