My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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